


Boyfriend Material

by Foof_The_Fuchsia



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, I just really like this ship, Romantic Fluff, Roxygen, why couldn't it make it to postgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 04:52:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16549277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foof_The_Fuchsia/pseuds/Foof_The_Fuchsia
Summary: Its John Egbert's 22nd Birthday, but it definitely doesn't feel like it. Not without that special someone.





	1. Thanks a lot, Callie

April 13th, 2018. John Egbert's 22nd birthday. To the outside observer it would not appear as a birthday though. No friends over, no party, not even a slice of cake. John himself arrives at his house, tired, and sad. He had just gotten back from looking for everyone, but not a one answered their door. 

"*sigh* Another day, another cry."

He tosses off his yellow Breath-Player shoes, pulls off his hoodie, lays his glasses down on the desk, and flops on his bed. He uncaptchalogues his phone and checks snapchat. The most recent post being Roxy, Calliope, and Jane's "date". He frowns and then checks pesterchum. No messages, save for Roxy continually changing her status, presumably in a drunken fit of attemtping to change tabs.

John shut the phone off and held his face into his pillow. He starts to whine, then tear up, then fully cry. This was not new to him. It was his daily routine, ever since he got that snap. Just waking up, going out, looking for friends, not finding them, coming home, crying, going to sleep. He kept that cycle going for a few months now.

"What are you doing with your life?" He asked himself  
"You're 22 years old! You literally just saved not one, not two, but THREE universes!"  
"But... all your friends are ignoring you... even Roxy..."

Roxy. Dear, sweet, precious Roxy. John hadn't really cared about going out before her. Yeah he had Vriska for a while, but she was just a close friend. Sure there's Terezi, but John isn't sure if he wants to try the whole troll blackrom thing. Roxy was the only person he ever felt those special feelings about, and he knew she felt the same way.

Felt. Past-tense. As far as John can tell, Roxy is only interested in Callie and possibly Jane. And it seems as though she's felt that way for a while. John would often ask himself why she considered him "boyfriend material" and then start going out with someone else. Did he fail? Did he ignore her? All of these thoughts plague his mind from day to day.

John starts to cry harder--

"*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*"

John shot up from his malaise of sadness. This was a surprise. No one had come over in a while, save for a few newspaper boys and the Parcel Mistress. John wipes his tears, puts his glasses back on, and answers the door...

Oh god its her...

Roxy: "Omg hey John!"

She's happy and giggly and bubbly, as per usual. John adored that about her... but what does he say? Just confess his love? Hug her? Say hi? There wasn't anything that sounded right to him...

\--ROXY'S PERSPECTIVE--

Oh look at him. He's hot, as always, and a cute dork too. Roxy always felt the need to protect him, unfortunately getting caught up with Calliope and Jane made things... difficult, not to mention Rose and Kanaya's anniversary party. The party that John for some reason never went to, even though he was invited. But enough about belated celebrations of marriage, right now Roxy is here to cheer up the boyfriend material.

As Roxy examines John, she notices his face is all red, his eyebrows turned upwards, and his eyes are watery...  
Oh god has he been crying??

Roxy: "John?"  
John: "Oh! Sorry! I lost myself for a second... Hi, Rox."  
Roxy: "*giggle* What were you thinking of?" She wonks.  
John: "Oh you know uh... stuff..."  
Roxy: "....you gonna let me in?"  
John: " S-sure!"

John opens the door all the way, and Roxy walks in, clearly already excited for his birthday.

Roxy: "Nice place, I like it."

Roxy sits on the couch, and John sits next to her. A little close, huh. He sure is getting comfy next to her.

\--JOHN'S PERSPECTIVE--

WHAT THE FUCK IS JOHN SUPPOSED TO DO?? Pardon the freakout. It had been quite some time since he had seen anyone, let alone his crush.

John: "S-so what brings you here?"  
Roxy: "Weellll since its been a while and I'm feelin' kinda lonely, I thought I'd pop over for some human contact."

Wait, lonely?

John: "That's nice! Er... nice that you want to visit..."  
Roxy: "*giggle* So how're you doing? Didja miss me?"  
John: "I uh... I did. I really missed you."  
Roxy: "Yeah I can tell, what with you looking all upset"

!!! Did she know he was crying???

Roxy: "You okay bb? If you wanna talk I'm right here"  
John: "U-uh.... well I just...."

John starts to sweat and get nervous.

John: "I just really mised you. Because I saw that picture of you and Callie and I uh...."  
Roxy: "You got jealous?"

John nods solemnly.

Roxy: "Aww sweetie..." She pats his back. "There's nothing to be jealous of. That was just us having a girls' night out!"  
John: "Huh?"  
Roxy: "We were just happy to have enough free time to hang out for once!"  
John: "...so why didn't you come over?" He looks down in shame

\--ROXY'S PERSPECTIVE--

Okay, mom mode activate.

Roxy: "I uh...."

Or nervous mode, that works too.

Roxy: "I kinda got a little anxious to see you..."  
John: "Anxious?"  
Roxy: "........."

Okay. Fuck it. This is it. You have to say it. You can already tell he's lonely. You can tell he was sad. YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM.

Roxy: "I like you..."  
John: "I like you too :B"  
Roxy: "No like.... I really like you"  
John: "Oh... Oh!"  
Roxy takes his hand.  
Roxy: "I've had a crush on you for a while...... So I kinda wanna ask... Will you go out with me?"  
John: "W-w-well I-I-I uh..."

\--JOHN'S PERSPECTIVE--

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD! John is mentally freaking out. A cute girl is asking him out and he has NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY! Clearly he should say yes! After all, this is the love of his life we're talking about.

John: "..."

He hugs Roxy, letting his actions speak for him. Roxy gasps in shock. She didn't expect this, but there is no way she's gonna complain. John starts to cry into her shoulder, this was the day he had hoped would come. His head floods with thoughts of what the kids might look like.... But then he un-floods those thoughts. Leave that for another time, Egbert.

Roxy: "John are you... crying?"  
John: "I WANNA GO OUT!!"  
Roxy: "Aww... sweetie...."

She hugs back, then pulls away. She looks him in the eyes. John looks back at hers. Those beautiful rosey eyes. Her eyes are an ocean. Roxy's eyelids start to droop, almost lustfully. She brings her face closer to his.... And plants a kiss on his mouth. John had never kissed a girl before, he never even held a girl's hand. He just... he had no choice but to sit there and take it...

\--ROXY'S PERSPECTIVE--

Okay, now he's just *trying* to be cute. Roxy continues to smooch him. Fulfilling that mental note she had set years ago, she's finally able to mack on him. Where this goes can only be uphill. Roxy pulls out of the kiss.

Roxy: "John? ...I love you..."  
John: "..........I love you too..."

\--END OF CHAPTER 1--


	2. Legendary Infinite Shower

\--JOHN'S PERSECTIVE--

John: "S-so what now?"  
Roxy: "I guess we can go out on a da-- *sniff sniff* JEGUS JOHN WHEN DID YOU SHOWER??"  
John: "I uh... I never really had a reason to…"  
Roxy: "Okay! Up! Up! Up! We're getting you bathed!"  
John: "Huh??"

John gets interrupted and boosted off of the couch. Its true he hasn't bathed in a while. He never really needed to, since no one was going to be meeting him, and he couldn't exactly smell himself. Roxy pushed him towards his bathroom. Its a good thing he always keeps a spare outfit in his sylladex.

Roxy: "In! In! In! Don't come out till you're squeaky clean!"

Well then. John is in his own bathroom, about to shower, for a hot girl, a hot girl that he wants to go on a date with. He strips down and hops in, hopefully the warm water will help clear his head too.

*Squeak Pshhhhhh*

Ah, now that's nice… The steam clouds the semi-frosted glass of the shower stall.

\--ROXY'S PERSPECTIVE--

Cleaning up the broken bits of glass from using your bottle modus, Roxy uncaptchalogues her old birthday outfit, surprisingly it still fits her. A little snug around the bust and hip areas, but hey, John might like that.

Shit, she has to pee. Fuck there's only one bathroom. Roxy gently opens the door, hoping she can be in and out without interrupting John. The shower is still going loud and John seems to be in the middle of shampooing. She's in the clear for now. She pulls her panties down, sits on the toilet, and lets loose. Sweet relief at last.

The fog on the glass starts to dissipate a tad. John's outline is actually kinda visible now.

Roxy: "Hm…"

Roxy hadn't seen much skin on John, that GodHood kinda obstructed his form. He's surprisingly well built for an inside kid. Not to mention you can almost see his big--

OKAY STOP THAT NOW ROXY! FINISH PISSING AND GET OUT!

Roxy turns red at the sight, she looks away and finishes up. She leaves the bathroom as quick as she can, washing her hands in the kitchen sink instead.  
John comes back out a few minutes later, wearing his wise-guy suit.

Roxy: "Lookin good... *sniff* And you don't smell like my breath after a night out!"

\--JOHN'S PERSPECTIVE--

Roxy is smiling warmly, John hopes he can keep seeing that smile. Its so nice...  
Her outfit is nothing to laugh at either, its one of the best things he's seen her in. It does show off her form quite well. Okay maybe a little too well. Yep, he's blushing now. This is going to be fun if he's blushing just at the sight of a form-fitting dress.

Roxy: "Ready to go?"  
John: "Y-yeah!"

John extends a hand out, Roxy takes it, and the two fly out of the house, towards where?

We'll just have to find out...

\--END OF CHAPTER 2--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll let all y'all pick out the dating scene!


End file.
